I got back from my trip to Kuala Lumpur and Brunei, spending Chinese New Year with my boyfriend and his family, just over a week ago. Post-holiday blues are a pretty common occurrence for most people, and I have been hit with them my fair share of times (read: almost every single time I have gone on holiday), but this time seems a little different. I’ve only just acknowledged that I’m feeling down, but I can’t quite put my finger on why.
The sadness was inevitable, having just spent an amazing two weeks with my long-distance boyfriend and having to say goodbye to him for an uncertain amount of time. I thought that I would be able to move past the doom and gloom of being back in the cold in my own country with not a lot to do, considering I am moving to South Korea in a couple of weeks time and I actually do have a lot to do to prepare for that. But it’s not really helped, and in fact the blues have taken over my drive to prepare and I have spent most of the last week on social media, sharing photos of my holiday and writing posts up for my latest travel series.
I’m not entirely sure whether I’m feeling down because I am now home, or if I am feeling nervous about moving away. It’s most likely a combination of both scenarios, and my brain has put me in protest mode; protest at having to leave my boyfriend and the warm weather, and protest at leaving my family and friends and doggies in a number of mere days. Of course, I am excited about going away, but just as with my year abroad during university, I’m finding myself more nervous as the days draw closer to my leaving date, and I think this is what’s stopping me from organising myself.
I’ve realised today that my blues have transcended from just my move preparations and have seeped into my personal care. My nail polish is gross and chipped, I haven’t washed my hair for three days and I definitely need to shower today but haven’t brought myself to do it yet. I’ve been picking at my face every day (a stress habit), I have piles of clothes all across my bedroom, and I definitely need to change my bedsheets. Being Valentine’s Day, a lot of stuff about self-love is going round the internet today, and it’s made me notice that I haven’t been loving myself or my space this past week, something that has probably been magnified by my post-holiday bad mood.
But I need to do something about myself before I can actually start being productive regarding my packing (and sorting all my shit out both in my wardrobe and in the loft) before I move abroad. So tomorrow I am going to wake up, shower, put on some nice clean clothes that I feel good (but comfortable) in, do my hair and maybe put on a bit of makeup. I’m going to tidy my dressing table and all the crap that’s on my bedroom floor and then I’m going to tackle (or at least make a start on) my wardrobe! I’m telling you all this so that it keeps me accountable, and to give myself a massive kick up the arse! I’m banishing my post-trip blues and welcoming in my pre-move excitement once more. And I’m also removing that gross, chipped nail polish…wish me luck!